Saturday, September 29

Our Heretical Quoteboard

We have this joke in my apartment that everything we talk about is either about sex or theology. And it's true most of the time, especially this one particular night.

Me (looking up from my book): Now here's one Trinitarian analogy I've never heard: the Trinity is like three bulbs making one light. Gee, that's sophisticated.

Jessie: Looks like we've got a heretical lamp over there. (Points to our five-armed lamp.) Let's see, there's Father, Son, Holy Spirit, Sophia, and....

Me: Rob Bell. Everybody worships him anyway.

Jessie: Great, our heretical lamp is Father, Son, Holy Spirit, Sophia, and Rob Bell.

Me(a while later): Ok, this chapter is talking about how we can't call God Mother.

Jessie: Why can't we call God Mother?

Me: Something about how God is compared to a mother with similes, but God never self-identifies as Mother like he does Father.

Jessie: I wonder if it would change anything if we had Mother, Son, and Holy Spirit.

Me: I guess the Spirit could still be the love between the Mother and the Son...oh, GOSH! That's almost incestuous. Can you imagine the fertility cults?

Jessie: Now how does the Spirit proceed from the two of them again?

Me: I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU JUST SAID THAT!

Needless to say, we agreed that it was best to stick with Father.

On another random church note, Jessie and John and I went to vespers at St. Nick's orthodox church. They told us that vespers was a lot different than their Sunday morning deal and that we should come back some Sunday. It was mostly lots of chanting and incense-swinging. And they said "Lord have mercy" like a hundred times. I hope God has mercy after all that chanting...